SaeYuki – What Should I Do? (2/4)



Yuko is right. I didn’t mean to boast myself but I got many fans in school. I feel bad when there are my juniors came to me and I don’t know their names.

Now, my most difficult homework isn’t Math anymore.. but to remember all of those kohai who came to my class almost everyday. I scratch my head and put that list to my pocket. I feels like a boy in this girl school. Super silly.

“Miyazawa-san.” I hear my teacher call me.

“Yes mam?” I walk away from my sit and comes to her.

“Can you please give this to Mr. Tanaka? You can see him in his office. If he isn’t there, maybe he teaching in Class 1B right now.” She gave me a book.

I go to see him in his office but no one there. Maybe he’s teaching in 1B. I go down to the 1st floor and I peek to that class. He’s here.

I knock the door. I hear the students start to whispering and give me their best smile. I smile back to all of them, then they giggled. But ……..

“Miyazawa-san? What’s bring you here?”

“Oh, sorry. Mrs. Maeda give this to you.” I give him that book.

“Thank you, Miyazawa-san.” I’m bowing to him.

There’s someone who didn’t smiling at me. I notice it because she not only didn’t smile, but she even didn’t look at me and keep staring the blackboard with blank stare. She was a girl that I saw last week: Kashiwagi Yuki. She’s not look like a murderer.

——————- FLASHBACK ——————-

“I am sorry. Sir. But can you tell me what happen to her?” I ask that gardener to answer my curiosity.

“I do not know exactly happened, I just heard it from some students.” that man silent for a while.

“2 years ago.. she’s start to school here. She’s so popular back then. She’s beautiful and kind. She has a best friend who school here too, Watanabe Mayu. People said that they already know each other since kid. Both of them was always stuck to each other.”

That man sighed, “But.. half year later an accident happened. She, Watanabe-san, and their other friends did a mountaineering activity.”

“Their friends didn’t know what really happen but she and Watanabe-san had some quarrels. In the second night of their camping….. she… sh-she push Watanabe-san from the cliff.”

Seriously,, I am scared right now.

“Watanabe-san died in the hospital with serious injury in her head.”

Is this a horor movie?!

“Her problem with the police seem over and she comeback to school this year”


So, if that accident didn’t happened.. she must be 3rd year student right now, same as Yuko and Sayaka. Oh, Yuko!! I can ask her about Kashiwagi-san.

“Why are you still here, Miyazawa-san? Is there anything do you want to say to me?”

“No-no-no Sir…” I hear those students laugh at me. I feel embarrassed. I go out from that class.

When I walking.. I see Kashiwagi look at me. She saw me still in her blank stare and no smile. Suddenly I feel afraid, but somehow… I wanna get closer to her and bring her precious smile back. I must be crazy.


Our basketball practice schedule only twice a week, but lately I did it everyday on purpose. Other people thinks that I became really ambition about basketball.

It’s not like what they said. I practice so I can have a reason to see Kashiwagi-san playing with her violin everyday. Actually… I’m not seeing her but… peeking her.

No. I am not a stalker. I just too shame to say ‘Hi’ to her.

But after weeks passed, I build up my courage and knock her ‘music room’.

I get in there, “Hi… Uhmm.. Hello. My name is Miyazawa Sae.” I bow to her. Yeahh you know, she’s actually my senpai if that accident not happened.

She’s still playing her violin. I don’t have any choice beside waiting her to finish playing that song. I close my eyes and enjoy that song. It’s beautiful. I smile, but then the music stop.

She staring me, I can see her cold eyes. “What are you doing here.” She said it not as a question but more like as a complain.

“I want to listening your music. It’s beautiful and I can’t help it to not come here.” We have an eye contact.

“You still can hear my music from outside.”

“Ehh?” She is not as kind as that gardener said.

“I see you peek me everyday from that window. So I believe you just can hear it from there.” She pointed to a window.

I hit my forehead. Ahhh… Stupid me! How shame is this! She know it!!

I’m bowing her and went out from that room.


“I have an annoucement.” Sayaka stand up. “We invited to participate in National High School Tournament!!”

All of us can’t believe it. We did it! We scream and crying. Tears of joy.

“When the competition start?” Yuko ask it to Sayaka.

“The preliminary round started next month. We still have a month for practice. We must do our best!”

“Ok then. Let’s make a circle.” We make a circle like Yuko said.

“National Tournament!!!!” Sayaka said that with spirit.

“Iku ze!!! Aaaaaa!!” We stomping the floor.

I will make this as our moment. We will win and make that as graduation gift from us to Sayaka and Yuko.

“Sorry guys, I have to go first. See you tomorrow!” I carry my bag and run to outside.

I still can see Kashiwagi’s back. She walking alone (as usual) to her ‘music room’. I run towards her.

“Ohayou, Kashiwagi-san!” I smile at her and she ignores me for a hundred times. She walks and treated me as nothing.

I walk with her, but she’s still silent. So, I broke the silent, “You know… We will participate in National Tournament!! Yeaayy…!” I said that with excitement in my face and voice.

She’s still silent.

“We start the competition next month.” I see her face. So beautiful. Her skin is so white. She’s like an angel.

We arrived at her ‘music room’. She pick up her violin. She still didn’t say anything.

“Ah. You wanna practice. It’s OK then, I don’t wanna bothering you. See you tomorrow Kashiwagi-san.” I bow and walk away. I close the door. I hear a song played.

I will go home after I hear this song. I have 1 favorite song, she always play it as her first song. It’s like her warm-up song.


If I saw her walking to her ‘music room’, I don’t care if it’s in the middle of practicing or not, I always escort her on the way there. I always tell her what happened to me that day.

She still silent after all, but I didn’t care anymore. After that I will walk to outside, and stand behind the door to hear her first song.

I did that everyday. I don’t care if she’ll ignore me forever, I just don’t wanna her to feel alone in this world. At school, I never saw her walks or talks with someone. Even the teacher didn’t approach her,

I know how it feels, it happened to me too when the first time I school in China… everybody keep their distance from me.


It’s been 3 weeks I did that thing to Kashiwagi-san but… her wall seems too thick and too tall to reached. She still didn’t say any word to me since the first I talk to her 2 months ago.

I already tell her everything! My family, my life in China, my friends, my basketball thing, my study, and even my ex (opps). And.. I also tell her about how I feels too, like if I angry at someone or sad because of something.

I sighed. What should I do? I really wanna see her smile.


Someday, Yuko drag me to the bathroom.

“Wait Yuko. What is this??!!”

“Sssstttt… Silent!” She kinda whisper to me. “I just wanna tell you one thing. You’d better not too close to Yuki.”

“Kashiwagi-san? Why?!” I raise my tone.

“Ssstttt… Silent baka!” She hit my head. “Just don’t. Everybody is start to talked about you. Did you even realize that your fans didn’t came to your classroom anymore??!!”

“I realize it. But I’m happy about it. I didn’t need to remember their names anymore.” I grinned.

“That’s not our topic now!! Not too close to her. It’s even better if you don’t talk to her anymore.” She open the door and walk away.

“Why? Because you think that she killing someone? Huh?!” I being too rude now. I forget that no matter what, she’s my senpai. I bow to her, “Sorry, senpai.”

She just silent and go out from the bathroom.

I just wanna go outside but I feel my heart almost fell. “Ka-Kas.. Kashiwagi-san?” I feel my body suddenly become stiff.

================== TO BE CONTINUED ================

Facebook Comments